No hard feelings...

Feelings -it's a bullshit word.

When you feel something, you put yourself in danger.
Decisions come second.
Feelings mess up the sky with dark and white clouds. No clear rainbow appears in such sky.
Feelings trap the energy, sometimes positive sometimes negative.
Here I'm not pretending all is fine. Things have gone terribly wrong.
Confession will only make way for the trapped energy. Release it.
Who was I? What I am doing now? What will I do?

The very old people always give a blessing, "Be as old as me, as soon possible"... Whenever I visited my village placeI got this blessing (??) several times. My grandma who is almost 87 now, always says like that. I may be 20 or something when I first time felt someting after listening this. I did not understood why this kind of blessing.? I looked at her old wrinkled face and the weak body. Looking at her I felt she could have blessed me to stay young forever, then why this kind of blessing.. to pray for someone to age early?

I was studying then, and now I'm a so called professional. Not everything, but have seen life upto some extent. Now when I think about that blessing "Be as old as me, as soon possible"... It has started making sense to me. I ask myself this question... Would it be possible for me to last atleast till 87 years? phewww.. the answer comes loudly echoying back.. HELL NO.

The kind of life I'm living has no time to think about life. Fat is depositing at exponential rate, pressure both work & blood is increasing every day. Lighter moments have become rarer too. I am exposed to so many chemicals that I dont even care to know about. New people are making there own spaces in my life and some are leaving big voids not to be filled anythime or by anybody.  It's not possible to be a mute witness. Amidst all these happenings ... Feelings...Feelings are constantly bothering me. Feelings -It's a bulllshit word.